top of page
Writer's pictureRachael Hurdman

Controlling Comparison

Happy Friday! 


I came across this visual whilst re-reading a section on ‘comparison’ in Big Feelings by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy.


During my coaching with clients I will often hear the following at the beginning of a coaching programme: 


  • I am not as good as X

  • I did not do it as quickly as Y

  • I am not as talented as Z


Comparison in life at times is unavoidable. Comparing ourselves to others is a deeply ingrained behaviour rooted in both psychological and social factors. Here are just some of the reasons why we tend to engage in this practice:


🦍 Our Evolutionary Instinct - survival mechanism and social identity

👶 Developmental Factors - our childhood learning and role models as we grow up

🌍 Cultural Influences - societal standards, media representation, social media 

🧠 Psychological Factors - self-evaluation, motivation, self-esteem, lack of self-

confidence, fear of missing out


Whilst comparison can drive us to achieve, develop and push ourselves further, much of the time it can result in unhealthy and unrealistic comparisons to others, where we have no idea in reality, how their stories and journeys differ to ours.  It can result in us never feeling good enough or worthy enough. 


Here are some strategies to help reduce unhealthy comparison behaviour:


⭐️ Identify your triggers - notice situations or people that trigger your comparisons

(awareness is the first step to change).

⭐️ Engage in mindfulness exercises like meditation or deep breathing to stay

present and grounded.

⭐️ Focus on your own journey - define what success looks like for you - not for

others.

⭐️ Celebrate small wins - acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no

matter how small.

⭐️ Limit social media use - follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, and unfollow

those that lead to negative comparisons. Limit the time you spend on social

media platforms.

⭐️ Daily gratitude journaling - write down things you are grateful for each day to

shift focus from what you lack to what you have.

⭐️ Identify and appreciate your strengths - regularly remind yourself of your unique

skills, attributes and qualities.

⭐️ Surround yourself with positivity - spend time with people who support and

encourage you.

⭐️ Seek mentorship - find mentors who can provide guidance and share their

experience without fostering comparison.

⭐️ Be kind to yourself - treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding as

you would a friend.

⭐️ Compare yourself to the past you - use your past self as the benchmark. 


Have a great weekend and enjoy the final!



Comments


bottom of page